#1: Intro to sex tips for the sexy endo sufferer
by: autumn smith
Sex is a huge subject for women with endometriosis. It can be excruciatingly painful and sometimes impossible. Because of that, I've had times when I was borderline uninterested. Luckily, at my core I love sex, and I was determined to figure it out again. I've been with my boyfriend for nine years now so we were together as young, steamy teens and together when I was too sick and too pained for anything relating to sex. Turns out he loves sex and loves me as well, so he was willing to work it out with me.
Let me just say, it wasn't easy. It can still be tough. It took so much time, and then more time. Blood, sweat, and tears. It's not always going to work out. You're going to have plenty of nights where it doesn't work, or you shouldn't even try in order to protect your health. The key word here, though, is TRY. You might think you know your body now (I sure did) but you probably don't. After endometriosis, you have a new body. And I promise you, it's not broken. I have endometriosis, adenomyosis, and chronic low uterine pain daily. I thought sex would never work again. But with practice, patience, and the power of wanting an orgasm, I've collected so many small "tips" to help me truly, truly love it again. More than anything, and I know you can too.
Before I worked on the fun stuff, I had to change my way of thinking. It helped me at least START my journey to love sex again, and it has truly changed everything for me.
Last year I got to the point where I dreaded sex. I always loved sex with my boyfriend, he's pretty amazing at it. It became very painful for me, we couldn't do it often, and it felt like something I was only doing for him. Days or weeks would go by without sex, and I would realize I "needed" to make him happy. He was so understanding, never made me feel like I needed to (leave your boyfriend if he does) but I loved him, so I felt like I should do it to keep him interested. I would wing it and hope for the best. I know now (and take this seriously) that I was developing a resentment towards him for that, resentment that he didn't deserve. When you have that kind of resentment, even if it's hidden, it is physically and mentally impossible to enjoy sex. Your "juices" (gross) and vagina LITERALLY are not open to it. My entire demeanor came off as not enjoying it, and that's unfair to the person who loves you. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. But there was something important I wasn't thinking about, and it finally hit me. I WANTED TO ENJOY SEX. I didn't just want to have sex for him, I wanted to have sex for ME. And ya know what? We should always, ONLY want sex for ourselves. ONLY for our own enjoyment.
You should want to feel sexy again, see how much your partner enjoys you and all of your talents, and of course, want to have amazing orgasms just for you and you alone. It's not about anyone else. This journey starts with you wanting to be pleased so that you can feel good. My life changed when I remembered how important I was and I decided to be selfish again. To try anything and everything so that I can be the crazy, hot, sex goddess that we all have inside of this. I love sex again, and I have it all the time. This isn't about keeping anyone happy but yourself. It's time to love your body.